Manipulative cat child trains dog sibling to cry and climb on pawrents any time the cat is hungry, resulting in a well-fed cat and a pair of peeved pawrents, cat says: ‘I should start my own YouTube channel because I'm such an effective dog trainer.’

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    "I often go hungry, which is preposterous for a cat of my glory and standing."
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    I am The Void, a majestic eight-year- old e ch (for which I have never forgiven my servants, incidentally). The housekeeper keeps claiming that I'm a third siamese, a third
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    definitely cat, and the rest do...on from the pits of hol, but I think she just tells people this to make herself feel better for her own failings in meeting my demands needs.
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    Because of the servants' failings in keeping me fed to an acceptable standard, I often go hungry, which is preposterous for a cat of my glory and standing. I have a fat tabby brother (10, eu h) who's on a
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    perpetual diet and who steals my food when I pretend to eat (to keep the staff motivated to feed me) but then walk away because I don't feel like eating at exactly that moment, despite
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    singing the song of my people to indicate my readiness. I realize that humans. lack the mental faculties to resolve the Great Famine without feline
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    intervention, so I've had to make plans to indicate my displeasure. The simplest strategy has been to gently nudge items off surfaces. So far my greatest achievement has been pushing the
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    electronic scale they use to weigh the dogs' food into the water bowl. They refused to see the brilliance of this strategy and called me "a furry little cla," among far
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    more unsavory things that don't bear repeating. The sheer cheek of it. The verbal ale about my glorious strategy was getting me down, so I decided to try
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    something new. The servants have two dogs, both rather large German shepherds. You'd think these dogs would have at least some courage, but they're both spineless. The
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    housekeeper claims they fear me because I lurk under furniture and around corners and attack them, but I think it just shows a lack of good b.........y if they're that afraid of gentle play.
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    Cheezburger Image 10603435776
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    Whatever she says, I definitely don't draw blod or sink my claws into their faces. Ever. The hairy male (6) is the more nervous of the two. I've found
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    that pawing my plate so that it bangs on the dining room table makes him cry and try to climb on one of the servants' laps. Over time, I've managed to train him to
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    maintain this behavior until one of them feeds me, even at 3 a.m. Especially at 3 a.m. They've been calling me names (how re) and telling me I'm a giant ca, but I feel I should start my
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    own YouTube channel because I'm such an effective dog trainer. (I'm sure the dog won't have a nervous breakdown. He was
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    a walking nervous breakdown before I started training him.) AITC for training the dog to communicate my needs to the food serfs?
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    delt... NTC! That's a great strategy and it's also good for the dog. (I've heard dogs like having jobs)
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    Humans are dumb so it's good for them too. Wins all around!
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